Peace

I am tired…in this fight for existence, I am slowly running out of patience.

How long can one possibly go on fighting the same problems,  with the same people.

Its a torture, wonder how much longer I can endure it without breaking down.

Whom the Gods love, Die young.

“Something it is which thou hast lost,
Some pleasure from thine early years.
Break, thou deep vase of chilling tears,
That grief hath shaken into frost! “

Twice in a span of two years, and the second one, much more unexpected and shocking.
I am talking about death…the stark reality of life which we all shudder to think of.

First my father…and now my friend.
I did not know I would shed so many tears on her death. Well come to think of it, I did not know what she meant to me. Not until I read, that she is no more.

Life is so unpredictable, everyone said…I used to think…so it is…so what…big deal.
But now I know…big deal it is.

In this age of technology, no matter where they are, people can communicate with each other.
No distance seems too big…nothing is too far…except……..

Suddenly the realization dawns on you….the communication becomes one sided, you can speak, but the other cannot hear.

My school teacher taught me…when you sleep at night, make sure you bear no strife in your heart, for you know not whether tomorrow you will have the chance to settle it.
I tried to follow it…but so many times I failed.
I fought with people and slept…I promised to do things and didnt do them….

But her passing away, has completely shaken me.
It has made me realize, that in life….there are no retakes, no use of lamenting.
When the deed is done, its done for good.
She is gone…resting in peace…

I am distraught……but I know…I will be a better human being now.
I am sure if God took her away at 26, he needed her more than us.
She was such a baby, and I am sure must be resting now, in the arms of the Almighty.

So many worlds, so much to do,
So little done, such things to be,
How know I what had need of thee,
For thou wert strong as thou wert true……………

Another one

http://www.associatedcontent.com/article/401360/freedom_of_life_fighting_cancer_in.html

This is the story of a woman I met for a few minutes.
The pain and the suffering which she doesn’t show but is feeling all the time.

Poetess?

My first attempt at poetry

http://www.associatedcontent.com/article/370440/the_unheard_voices.html

Hatred

Hatred – hurts me.

I have known many emotions in my life, and of those, love is my favorite.

But hatred, really hurts me. Anger is something I can live with, but not hatred.

And when hatred is coupled with selfishness, it becomes just too much to handle.

When people demand something of someone, why do they not want to think, how they had fared when it was their turn? Is bringing a child into the world and caring in their initial years (may be even doing that painfully), the end of everything?

Does the child have to remain indebted for this for his entire life?

People have wronged me a thousand times, but I have learnt to move forward.

If I do nothing but curse and hate them all the time, how would I prosper in life.

But some people are beyond this level of understanding. I only wish some day the light of wisdon falls on them!

Not my own, but so much like mine

Questions: I wish I had answers

Sceptimism: I wish I had a magic potion that would blow it away

Answers: I wish I had them all

Hatred: I wish I could conquer it

Love: I wish I had it all

Life: I wish…

Death: Is the magical answer to all the troubles of life

An awesome fusy that’s so difficult to describe strikes the very roots of that which symbolizes life and hence by a natural extrapolation signifies the end of life giving energy.

It’s not enough to have a zest for life. It’s essential to back it up with a redoubtable spirit of conquering that which challenges to shake the very roots of that force which threatens to kill it. It’s not enough to be happy. It’s essential to supplant a mechanism ever operative, ever vigilant; gurading the doors of happiness from evil.

I wish life had simple answers.

I wish the path to a glowing happiness were not so fraught with sundry demons threatening to damage it.

I wish I wouldn’t lose the energy midway.

I wish I would be able to hold myself steady against the current.

Life has treated me in a mixed fashion. I detest the path of engagement. But do I try to run away from decisive duals? I think not. I have faced bigger threats. But then why can’t I use my judgement, my wisdom derived from years of facing agony and pain.

Yes, I have been wrong. On sundry occasions.

What do I do to rectify? Where is my strength? Why do I become weak when it matters the most?

When things are fine, no one cares who what is. But the choices a human soul makes under stress are a true reflection of his inner self. It’s self destruction to keep the pain hidden. It can only lead to destruction and end. Life has a way of testing people. But then why should human life be subjected to irrational agony? Why should the soul be subjected to unfounded whimsicality of that which drives human existence? Why should life be a never-ending agony? I have these questions to which I seek answers. But more than just these answers I seek a rationale behind all this. I need someone who by some magic would bring all the answers to pass. I think it’s not wise to assume that a life devoi of all this pain would be a meaningful manifestation of the very essence of life.

Life as God intended it to be seen is more than just happiness and pleasure. Life is a reflection of its Creator. God created the world in His own image. He created life to bring out His true essence. So Sublime, so High.

But then why did He make us so Low? What’s the purpose of a design that is self destructive? Why do we have so many secrets? Why does existence have those triggers that fire the events that bring them out. I wish I knew it.

At times, life makes you feel like God. At other times, it sucks the living light out of you. The more you allow the suction to take place, the more it kills you. I wish I knew the alternative though.

Life signifies flux. An ever flowing criss -cross of thoughts instigating one to go one way or the other. It makes it difficult to maintain sanity. That’s what they call diffcult times. That’s what they call enormous times. That’s where the feet begin to shake. That’s when you feel you were better off dead. That’s when you wanna draw yourself into a shell, never to come out of it again.

When trust is ridiculed. When faith is challenged. Whose side are you gonna stick to? The immediate danger is not to perform an overkill-harakin. But strive to take it piecemeal. One at a time.

I have no ready solutions. No one does. SOmetimes the difficulty is that you cannot be what you are. Abd the irony is that it is out of your own making.

So who is responsible for the bloody aftermath. The instigator or the perpetrator. You wanna stay quiet lest you say something to worsen the situation. But the opponent won’t let you stay quiet but would repeatedly and with design hit upon something that forces you to pour forth emotions that would be misinterpreted. That would be used as evidence towards self-denial. You would be denied the right to be human. You would be methodically and steadily with never failing regularity ve drained out of the life giving energy. And you would end up a zombie.

Unless you fight it out and refuse to give in. I dont know what is it you would hang on to in those tough times.

Frustration

Life sucks…I am really tired of this fight for my peace of mind, for my peaceful existence.

Why are people so demanding? Why does every passing minute make me feel as if I am doing a tight rope walk?

One slip and you are gone.

I don’t understand why everything has to be so complicated. There are no solutions, only arguments.

No one wants to understand anything. You keep getting hurt and more hurt.

There is no end to this hell.

How I wish I could get out of all this mess that  I am in and lead a peaceful life, where I do not have to worry about the whims of 10 odd individuals.

Comments

Why do people visit blogs and do not leave comments-

a) They did not like the posts.

b) They could not think of anything to write.

c) They did not want to comment.

Well whatever be the reason, I feel very sad to see my blog stats registering visitors every often but no one feeling inspired enough to leave a comment

Fathers Day

Surprizing but I never cared much for fathers day while my father was alive.  In fact I kind of  have an aversion to all this pomp and show on such days. I mean I do not feel there needs to be a special day to celebrate your relationship with your own kith and kin.

My Neighbours Dogs Day is kind of fine, but mothers day and fathers day, I used to think, are very funny.

But this year, I am greatly saddenned to hear or read about fathers day. Amazing how some things can affect you so greatly. Because whenever I hear about fathers day, my thoughts go back to my Dad who is no more.

Its been more than 9 months, he may have taken birth somewhere, but everything is so fresh in my mind, as if it was just yesterday when he was giving me blessings on the phone before he took off for his final abode.

I know I miss him everyday, so fathers day is no special. He was a special man and I know that he will always remain special to me. In my heart!

More on Love

This one is my personal favourite – Says Pip in Great Expectations

“I never had one hour’s happiness in her society, and yet my mind all round the four-and-twenty hours was harping on the happiness of having her with me unto death.”

And love prevails despite all oddities-

” . . . You have been in every prospect I have ever seen since – on the river, on the sails of the ships, on the marshes, in the clouds, in the light, in the darkness, in the wind, in the woods, in the sea, in the streets. You have been the embodiment of every graceful fancy that my mind has ever become acquainted with. The stones of which the strongest London buildings are made, are not more real, or more impossible to be displaced by your hands, than your presence and influence have been to me, there and everywhere, and will be. Estella, to the last hour of my life, you cannot choose but remain part of my character, part of the little good in me, part of the evil. But, in this separation I associate you only with the good, and I will faithfully hold you to that always, for you must have done me far more good than harm, let me feel now what sharp distress I may. O God bless you, God forgive you!”