Ramblings

Zindagi ki daud dhoop mein, mera aks kahin kho gaya hai. Sabse to ab tak judi hui main, lekin khud se khud ko jodne wala taar, jaise toot gaya hai. Main kaun hoon, main kya chahti hoon, in sawalon ke jawab ab mere paas nahi hain. Aisa nahi hai ki pehle yeh jawab the mere paas, lekin tab aur ab mein fark hai. Tab main in sawalon ke jawab dhoondhne ki koshish karti thi. Kam se kam ek koshish, jo mujhe khud se jode rakhti thi, jiske kaaran main apne aap se judi hui thi.
Ab to main woh koshish bhi nahi karti. Karna chahoon bhi to, mujhe koi raah dikhai nahi deti.
Shayad yehi zindagi hai. Ek ek karke sare sahare chootte gaye, sare sach jhooth mein badal gaye, aur woh har cheez jiske bina zindagi adhoori si lagti thi,woh mujhse door hoti chali gayi.
Ek aakhri taar jo sabse ahem tha, woh bhi ek din toot gaya. Ab mujhe kisi cheez se dard nahi hota, kyunki dil mein jo dard hai, usse badi ab koi cheez nahi hai. Jo hua achcha hi hua, kyun hua woh to mujhe pata nahi. Aur sach kahoon, to ab main jaanna bhi nahi chahti. Kyunki jo toot gaya, ab woh kabhi jud nahi payega. Kyun, kisliye aise shabd ab mujhe bemayne se lagne lage hain.

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